LEAK SUGGESTS CERN HAS DISCOVERED THE HIGGS BOSON

POSTED RESPONSE TO A COLUMN BY RICHARD GRAY IN THE TELEGRAPH

Here is the world's genuinely important news.

Politicians' blubbering, Royal weddings, the Pope's silly words - all reported as significant, which they are not.

Meanwhile, the real heroes of our age, the scientists and mathematicians, quietly work away making astounding discoveries of incalculable value.